You hem me in behind and before,
and lay Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it (Psalm 139:5-6 ESV).
In the thick of “processing” through some ups and downs of life (and not always in a “pretty” way), the Lord brought this particular Word to mind. As I began my usual approach of looking up other references and word meanings, I came upon this:
He has walled up my way, so that I cannot pass, and He has set darkness upon my paths. He has stripped from me my glory and taken the crown from my head. He breaks me down on every side, and I am gone, and my hope He has pulled up like a tree (Job 10:8-10 ESV).
I read this in light of all that the Lord is teaching me in this season — about Himself, about myself, and about the topic of idolatry. And those words above resonate with the reality of the conflict within. I’ve intimately known those walls. And darkness? Its desire has been to overtake me (see Genesis 4:7 for an ugly parallel). Here’s the essence of the section from Job: He has stripped from me MY glory (verse 9)... but NOT His own!
How well do I understand those imperfect people that I read about in the Bible... very normal people who are just like me! They walk with God and shine brightly as lights for God’s glory... and then somehow they don’t. As I read through story after story of their shortcomings and failures, I want to enter the stories and preach to them, “Get back up and look to your Savior and Lord!”
And so it is that today I speak those very same words to myself. I’ve looked closely into the Word, which puts a mirror on my soul, and I’ve seen things like pride — trying to be in control when quite clearly that was never my place. I’ve seen anger, which, left to itself, could easily lead to bitterness.
And even in my flood of tears I’ve been reminded that it’s okay to rest in places of dissatisfaction. My beating heart is screaming, “There is SO much more than this!”
The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul;
the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple;
the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;
the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold;
sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover, by them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward (Psalms 19:7-11 ESV).
Yes Lord... “You hem me in behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me” (Psalm 139:5 ESV). Your walls of protection surround me.
I’m protected both by You and from You because Your Son “poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet He bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors” (Isaiah 53:12b ESV).
I can loudly proclaim that I am “from God and have overcome” the spirits that war to overtake me (1 John 4:4 ESV). My Redeemer has set me free... and I am free indeed! (John 8:36 ESV)
Thank You, God, for Your Word which truly anchors my soul!
You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night,
you have tested me, and you will find nothing;
I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.
With regard to the works of man, by the word of your lips
I have avoided the ways of the violent.
My steps have held fast to your paths;
my feet have not slipped.
I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
incline your ear to me; hear my words.
Wondrously show your steadfast love,
O Savior of those who seek refuge
from their adversaries at your right hand.
Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings... (Psalms 17:3-8).
